Justin Ryan tells me he deploys next week and wishes I could come out there. He even told me that if I came we would get married before he left. I told him how much I would loovveee that but I just really can’t get off work right now. No matter what. So we talk a little more. But now he’s totally ignoring me. How can you tell someone you want to marry them but not want to talk to them a week before you leave.. Hell we don’t even have to actually talk on the phone. If he just left me one simple voicemail I would be fine. I could hear his voice whenever from now till December and that would make me so happy, if only for just a few minutes..
Dear person I like,
You’ve always been there for me and never let me down. Yes I like you, but you know that I’m in love with someone else and have never tried to stand in the way. We will always have feelings for each other but will probably not act on them and I’m sorry. I’m glad I have you in my life cause you’re amazing.
I know I don’t tell you nearly enough, but thank you. And I love you. I never get to see you anymore and I’m sorry. When I’m spending time with you is when I’m the happiest, I don’t have a care in the world and I know I can talk to you about absolutely anything. You have been there through it all with me and it has been great. You always pushed me to try my hardest and always stood up for me. Again, I love you. And you’re amazing.
Dear Ex Boyfriend,
Next week you deploy and it breaks my heart. I wish I could be in Colorado Springs with you right now. We could get married before you deploy, like we always talked about. I love you with everything I have even though I don’t always show it. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and change some things. I would go back and make sure I never lost you. I would go back and spend forever with you. I miss you like you wouldn’t image and it will physically kill me not being able to talk to you until December. I love you.